Yesterday I was drawn to an article by Fader Magazine (Summer music issue, July/August 2017), simply because it featured my favourite singer from my favourite band in the entire world. The pictures from the photoshoot are what struck me the most, as Hayley Williams is effortless in each image and shows a natural stunning look in every shot.
If you didn’t know, Idle Worship is a song from Paramore’s new album, After Laughter. It’s lyrics are worded in ways that suggest that you shouldn’t put Hayley or the band on the pedestal because you simply don’t know the person behind the music. I totally get that. Lyrics such as,
- “You’ll see you’re not the only one who’s hopeless”
- “I’m just a girl and you’re not as alone as you feel”
- “I’m not your superhuman, and if that’s what you want, I hate to let you down”
It all reflects the fact that just because they’re this amazing band and they are admired by so many people, it doesn’t mean that they’re not still human who have their own problems and struggles in daily life.
The interview itself got me to relate with how Hayley feels; not in the sense of her feeling like fame is a little too much sometimes, but the fact that she has struggles like all of us and she has worries, things she doesn’t like to look back on, triggers. The things that make our feelings reality sometimes. I was astounded by her openness within the interview and sharing personal experiences was something I needed. All I want to do after reading the article was just to give her a big hug and say thank you. A quote that helped me relate in the best possible ways was this:
“For the first time in my life, there wasn’t a pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel. I thought, I just wish everything would stop. It wasn’t in the sense of, I’m going to take my life. It was just hopelessness. Like, What’s the point? I don’t think I understood how dangerous hopelessness is. Everything hurts.”
After struggling with depression myself and having similar feelings of wanting the world to stand still whilst I tried to get over my self loathing and sadness, I put myself in her shoes for the first time in my life and realised that yes, she is this amazing person who I admire for giving me great music to listen to daily. But she also feels like a ‘friend’ in some ways. A ‘friend’ who can relate to myself and someone who gets what it feels like to feel at rock bottom (no Hard Times puns intended!).
I am forever greatful for Paramore and their music, and for Hayley for inspiring me to want to be in a band of my own and showing me that it’s cool to be a girl and it’s cool to be yourself, more importantly. Sometimes about the article brought tears to my eyes because it makes her even more beautiful knowing that she has had these dark times and sat in the dark watching Netflix all day because she can’t function. But she got up, got dressed in some awesome outfit (I’m sure it was pretty awesome, anyway) and she continued to make great music with her friends.
Hayley, thank you for being you. I am forever greatful.